Current mood:

grateful

an unexpected change...
This was the best New Years I've ever had. Me, Alli, Jim and Mick went to Buddakan in Philly for a late dinner, then took a cab over to Penns Landing at 11:30 and waited for the fireworks at midnight. Now, me and my husband usually do this alone, but that will be the end of that. I really loved having my daughter with me as we all huddled together while watching the fireworks. It was really special.

Since Mid-December's throw-down w. my husband at the Harvest Moon in New Brunswick, things are definately starting to shape up, to my surprise. Honesty is definately my policy this yr in 09 and so far it's opened doors. I squared off with my father as well about his self-centered excuse of a wife, that if she doesn't really care for my father to see us then she shouldn't come with him. Now, I'm actually looking forward to seeing my dad the next time he visits.

There seems to be a transformation happening in our home life. Just more pride in ourselves, our home and our little family. We all seem to be trying a little harder, and honestly that is really what I've been wanting to see. I hate it when people are floundering in a time where great things could be accomplished. But- I refused to do it alone, again, so it unfortunately took alot of drama to get my point acrossed. My hub is looking into going back to school and possibly spending a week in L.A. for a music work shop. My x and I have been more involved with helping our daughter stay on top of her assignments at school. She also made the girls chorus when she tried out. I just want to encourage her to persue her interests and not get tied up with boys. I've been preaching that for years now and always want her to put her self-development first. I tell her all the time how she is so much more advanced then I was at her age, and just so relieved that she isn't living the kind of life I did at her age, yes she's only 11. But one thing I am turning around is her perspective about being involved, that it's a two way street. She needs to involve herself as well, not that I need her to be, I'm just trying to raise her to be that way which will be helpful in the expectations of her future relationships.

Overall, I'm just trying to wake up and open my eyes and pay attention as much as possible to what's going on around me, or not...I don't wanna go back into that uncomforatable comfort zone of coasting. That's not where I was ever able to live and even now that it's an option, no thank you.

One last thing is that I did some pre-planning on the medical expenses for this year and it's just so much better. I was able to drop 275 for deductible, co-pay and RX for my husbands oral surgery today without blinking when before it would be this big ordeal of not paying other bills to have the money. It felt great to be able to provide all of that for him, stress free. Like he didn't even have to think about it. I had it all covered. The flexible spending debit card is a must have and it's not that bad being that it's balanced out by paying less taxes so it's like the money never left. This year is definately going to be different. I have so much to look forward to now!